How shocking!

Ohhh, so that's what culture shock is. Or at least I think that's what this is.

I'm feeling it pretty intensely, I'd say. Thing have been rough lately. I'm really overwhelmed and I have so much anxiety, and I don't really know what to do about it. It's in times like these that I miss my family terribly and thank the high heavens that my fiance is here with me. Because I'm so close with my family, I think being away from them is the hardest part. I also miss being able to talk to my friends on a more regular basis. Not to mention, the internet hasn't exactly been dependable. There's just not enough hours in the day. Or rather, not enough of those hours are spent relaxing or doing something other than work for school.

I knew it would be difficult to come here and that it would be a hard job, but I didn't really expect it to be like this. I mean, once you get your head wrapped around things and just accept that this is the way it is and just deal with it, you'll be ok. Doing so has been difficult for me though. I can feel myself fighting it and just yearning for the comfort of my old life, and I think that's part of my problem. Maybe that's what culture shock it overall. It's not so much that things are really different, it's just a different way of thinking, I guess. I can't quite explain it because it's really an internal thing, but yeah, it sucks. I literally just take it a day at a time and when I think even a week ahead I start to cry. I know in the end I'll be stronger though. Rimond says it's like learning to drive in New York City. If you can drive in New York City, you can drive anywhere. I just gotta stick it out and try to get through it and I'll be a better person and teacher for it. I need to be more positive! Everyone is really understanding and empathetic and says it'll get better, and I just hope they're right.

I did a bit of traveling over the Bayram holiday and that was really nice. Rimond and I went to Kapadokya (Cappadocia) for three days and met some really great people from all over the world. We went hiking the first day with a couple named Marina and Ag who spoke Russian, and after they left we met a group and hung out with two people named Houyem from Tunisia and Igor from Croatia. It was really wonderful to interact with all different types of people and see new and different things. I think traveling will be very healing for me, and I really wish I had more time to do it. The next holiday isn't until the end of January, so now I'm just trying to get my head wrapped around that. I don't know if I can wait that long for another break. The weekends aren't much of a break for me at all considering I still do so much work, so I don't really know what's gunna happen there. Hopefully something works itself out in that regard.

One step at a time, one day at a time.